As she anticipates the release of her documentary Hayden & Her Family, the filmmaker reconnects with the mother of 12 she profiled to discuss special needs adoption, parenting outside “normal” boundaries, and how loving a child changes you.
The Grammar of Untold Stories: An Interview with Lois Melina
Lois Melina has been a voice of wisdom and authority in the world of adoption for decades. We connected with Melina upon the publication of her latest book, The Grammar of Untold Stories,a collection of personal essays, to discuss immigration and international adoption, transracial adoption and the Black Lives Matter movement, and the many ways adoption and infertility continue to surface in her writing.
“Almost Famous”
The day we became a transracial adoptive family was the day we lost our anonymity in our community. We’ve learned to handle the extra attention with some advance prep before going public, some choice words, and some perspective.
“Home Safe Every Night”
Isaac is 14 years old, but he’s six feet tall and almost two hundred pounds. He’s also black. He hasn’t been a discipline problem since the day he came home, but someone who doesn’t know him could see him as a threat. So what was I to do on a recent evening when he asked to bike home alone in the dark?
[EXCERPT] That Kind of Mother
In this excerpt from That Kind of Mother, by Rumaan Alam, the white adoptive mother of a black child learns about importance of talking with her son about racism and interactions with the police.
“Race…and Starbucks”
My parents were immigrants from Germany and India, my husband also comes from a mixed background; we have one biological child, and one adopted from South Korea. What makes my daughter Korean? What makes her American?
Empowering Children and Teens of Color Who Face Racism
White parents do not have the experience of feeling vulnerable or targeted based on race, so telling a transracially adopted child “I know how you feel” isn’t right—but silence is also not the answer. Adoptees and experts discuss how parents should speak out and take action.
“Keeping Up Appearances” – Our Skin and 4C Hair Care Routine
As the parents of four black children, we drop a small fortune on lotion and products and build time into our schedule to style their hair, all the while questioning whether we know what we’re doing. A recent conversation offered some much-needed reassurance.
Race Matters at Pact Camp
A summer heritage camp that’s all about helping transracial families.
“Can Black Children Wear Watermelons?”
Many symbols commonly found on children’s clothing connote racist stereotypes of black people. Knowing this, should transracial adoptive parents still dress their black children in onesies and shirts featuring monkeys, zebras, and watermelons?
Book Review: I Love You Like Crazy Cakes
A seven-year-old adoptee from China shares her thoughts on an illustrated children’s book about adoption.
Parent-to-Parent: Explaining Attention and Questions from Strangers
When you and your child don’t look alike, the world wants to know why. Parents who adopted transracially share how they explain strangers’ questions and comments to their children.
Dolls and Toys for Our Families
We asked readers, “Have you found any dolls or other toys that reflect your child’s race and/or birth culture that you would specifically recommend?” Here are the top picks.
“A Balanced View of Adoption”
With such a spectrum of opinions about adoption, it’s hard to know if we talk about it too much, or not enough, and in the right way. But watching my son navigate adoption comments at school reassured me of his comfort with it.
Ask AF: Four-Year-Old Expressing Negativity About Her Skin Color
The mother of a preschooler shares her concern about negative comments her daughter has been making about her skin color. Parents who have been there offer advice.
“On Choosing, or Changing, Schools”
As I weighed diversity, academics, and other factors when choosing schools for my transracially adopted children, I perpetually second-guessed myself. But now that my kids are teens, I’m ready to trust their decisions.
“Where We All Belong”
When I was a teen, my parents decided to grow our family by adopting from foster care. How did it feel to suddenly gain four new brothers and sisters through adoption?
“American-Indian, Indian-American”
American by birth, Indian by virtue of being raised by us, the hyphen may define my twins more than either of the terms throughout their lives.
“Mr. Tooth Fairy”
We had known about this tooth for many years, before we even met our daughter.
The Hunt for Diversity in Small Town America
It’s hard enough to achieve a strong ethnic identity in a big city, but for those of us living in rural areas, the challenge can be even greater.